1. |
Just Like Ms. Spears
02:11
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Well....
Oops I did it again.
I think this must be 5 times now.
I've gone down the slide heart first into something that can only lead to nothing.
What that? You say you live a thousand miles out?
Well here, have a piece of my heart.
'Cause that way, they'll be a lump of my flesh
On each forsaken corner of this continent.
Cause I'm stupid, or at least I'm dumb,
And if you need me I'll be right here in the corner.
Cause it seems, I refuse to learn.
My heart needs to be sent up to the blackboard.
And I wish,
I could convince myself
What's best for now aint always best for later.
And while the present
me's all I've ever know,
the future soon inherits that role.
And oh,
Just a little
Bit of foresight
Could save me from a year or two of harm.
And, yes, I've heard
The warning bells and sirens all ring out,
But don't pity me, I hit snooze on that alarm.
Cause I'm stupid, or at least I'm dumb,
And if you need me I'll be right here in the corner.
Cause it seems, I refuse to learn.
My heart needs to be sent up to the blackboard.
And I know,
Self loathing,
Isn't an unexplored concept.
And in fact,
I think AJJ (Andrew Jackson Jihad),
Has a song about it using these same chords (They do).
But please, oh please,
Won't you let me have this?
It's my only life vest in a sea of consequence,
That I struggle in daily,
Though I don't know why I don't wanna drown.
But that's life.
Or at least it's mine
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2. |
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Well I've never pressed a vinyl and I don't own a turn table,
And I've given up on tryin to get all my favourite music,
cause all my favourite artists find hope in the archaic,
And they pray to what they will for a past they've never seen
And that's alright.
Yeah it's just fine by me,
And that's ok,
They'll just keep on keepin till they don't.
Then they'll be dead.
Cause hell at least they're trying and they've got somethin to cling to,
Which I tell myself I could do too if I could only find it,
But it's moot because I haven't cause they tell me to fly higher,
Your wings aren't made of wax so shut the fuck up, quit your whining,
But that's alright,
And It's just fine by me,
And it's ok,
I'll just keep on keepin till I don't,
then I'll be dead...
But I wish that I weren't lying when I said that it weren't from lack of tryin
Cause I'm barely kept on breathin by knowin that there aint no turnin back.
And I trust myself about as far as I can throw me, and that's not much,
Cause I know I've been a piss poor judge of these things in the past.
But that's alright,
And it's just fine by me,
And that's ok,
We'll just keep on keepin till we can't,
And then we won't,
World goes on.
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3. |
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You said that we should stay like this forever
and I said that that would make it hard to eat,
And you said that we would worry bout that later,
but just for now you'd like to fall asleep like this,
So we went to sleep.
You said that it was us against the others,
I said no thinkin small, it's us against the world
and you said that sounded like an awful lot of effort,
and I said yeah, and so we took it back.
And you had found the ghost in me,
And I had felt like I could breathe,
and you had finally lost all of your hate,
And I had found something to cling to for my life,
mummblemummblemummble
You said that we should go and see a movie,
you said that we should go and see a show.
You said that you would pay for all the popcorn,
if I bought the tickets and was the one who drove,
And I said that better be a pretty fuckin big tub of popcorn,
cause movies are expensive and you know we're both broke
so that'll be our dinner for like 3 days or somethin,
why don't we just do somethin free like
I dunno
(make shit up)
And you had found the ghost in me,
And I had felt like I could breathe,
and you had finally lost all of your hate,
And I had found something to cling to for my life,
mummblemummblemummble
You said that you would be the big bread winner,
And I said I'd be the best trophy guy in town,
And you asked if I would like to raise the kids,
And I said sure I'd love to settle down
And looking back,
Your weathered hand in mine,
We found the years were everything we'd ever wanted,
and then more:
We'd never been bored.
And you had found the ghost in me,
And I had felt like I could breathe,
and you had finally lost all of your hate,
And I had found something to cling to for my life,
If you were real.
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4. |
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Sorry I can't write something
complex enough to fill your thoughts completely,
And exercise the bad.
It barely does that for mine,
And I'm the one who's playin it,
But this is all that I got.
Maybe if you sing along, it'll help
and you're most welcome to try
I would love to be of service instead of a single serving package,
Serving only myself
Cause while all I know about you for sure,
Is that you poop and breathe,
and someday you will die
I also know that we have that in common,
And it makes me smile to know that there's something that we share.
So I won't run from death,
it's as futile and as sad
As trying to run from bein born
And besides, if i managed to cheat the open soil,
What would you and I have to talk about any more,
And who would feed the worms?
Cause it's the last job, we all take,
In the end when we all end,
And maybe if,
You and I are lucky
We'll have the same shift,
And you can tell me all about it.
Or maybe not,
And our consciousness, just ceases to exist,
And that would be pretty ok with me.
After all, how would I ever know the difference
If that's how it goes when you go?
But it's a journey we must take together someday,
Like it or not,
So in the meantime, while we've got the chance,
Lets choose our own adventures.
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5. |
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I think I listen to so much music about alcoholism and heroin,
Cause I wish that I had something external I could blame.
that I could fight,
That I could slay,
Or at least that I could work towards,
And say that I've been clean of for this long now,
But it's hard to be clean of yourself.
No, I can't be clean of myself, not completely,
and even if I could,
Well based on prescient alone I lack the motivation,
The passion or the drive it would require,
But oh,
's just the way it's been goin for me.
Cause these days,
I wake up,
I go to work, I get back from work,
And then I wait to fall asleep again.
And the days where I don't work,
Are much the same, but I don't work.
With a bit more waiting, for sleep or for death,
because some day it will take me,
And that day I'll be grateful,
Because I'm too much of a coward
to be proactive when it's the one thing that I still look forward to,
But oh,
's just the way it's been goin for me.
So hey friend,
Won't you come down and join me?
It seems like you've been trying to lend a hand.
And I sure as hell could use the body heat
before you fall down and you cool off like the ones who came before
Because it's so much more fun
When you're dead on the inside, at least a little,
And, no, I don't mean full of sorrow.
I mean full of empty and set to decompose.
It's not the maggots, nor the flies.
But the gentle wear of years gone by
that turns
your vitals into mush
And now I just find that I'm tired all the time
No matter how much I will sleep
And the only solution
that crosses my mind
is to sleep forever
or never go back to sleep again
Because while there's nothing I want,
I want anything but nothing at all.
And it's taking it's toll one me.
As I am sure that I've had mine
On my friends, and family.
As they grow harder for me to find,
Cause I pushed them all away,
Or, really, more of nudged
When I had to
hold on,
If I had wanted dear life.
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6. |
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fuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthis fuckfuckfuckityfuck,
I'm so fucking sick
of feeling like this
I wish I could be self-reliant.
I wish I could be like Thoreau.
But I don;t have an Emerson to always bail me out
(Or my mom bringing me donuts and doing my laundry. Henry was a funny dude)
And I didn't think I would need it,
But god damn it, it looks like I need it.
And I didn't think that I cared all that much,
But given my insomnia's kickin in again,
I think I must care a lot more than I thought.
I wish that I could be angry.
I wish I could be at war with the world,
But I'm sad, and I'm anxious,
And there's a tempest in my guts,
And the music isn't helpin like I hoped it would.
so fuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthis fuckfuckfuckityfuck
I'm so fucking sick of feeling like this.
I am Anne Of Green Gables,
In the depths of despair.
I'm everything I hated as a child.
But the kid me, he didn't have to deal with hormones.
And he didn't have everybody telling him he should be on Prozac all the time, just Ritalin
And I didn't think I would need you,
But god damn it, it looks like I need you.
And I didn't think that I cared all that much,
But given I haven't slept in half a week now,
I think I must care a lot more than I thought.
I wish that I could be angry.
I wish I could be at war with the world,
But I'm sad, and I'm anxious,
And I've got a one track mind,
And I'm not the one who lays the rails out.
So fuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthis fuckfuckfuckityfuck
I'm so fucking sick,
well I'm just sick in general,
Aw fuck.
I wish I could say that I drew strength from pain,
But like Dostoyevsky I find romanticism in needless self-sacrifice,
Which mean, girl, you've made me a romantic.
And girl you've made me a liar,
I wish I could go back to feelin nothing,
And I didn't think I would need you,
But gosh dang it, it looks like I need you.
And I didn't think that I cared all that much,
But given I had to burn through three sick days this week,
I think I must care a lot more than I thought.
I wish that I could be angry.
I wish I could be at war with the world,
But I'm sad, and I'm anxious,
And I'm staring at the ceiling,
For going on 12 hours now
which brings it up to 30
In the last 2 days alone,
Which means I've spent more than half my fucking week
Staring at the ceiling,
And there's nothing on the ceiling,
It's just a white ceiling,
And meanwhile,
You're fine.
Yeah, you don't give a shit.
So fuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthisfuckthis
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckityfuckfuck FUCK
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7. |
The Tale Of Adam Hester
02:55
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Been so dry these last couple days
I thought it'd never rain again,
I guess I shoulda seen it comin.
I went down through the forest
when you weren't where you said that we should meet.
to the place I knew you'd been.
I saw smoke, and I thought,
That I had finally found you,
Till I saw red up in the leaves.
And Oh, The flames were rising,
And oh, the sky was swallowed.
I grabbed what I could find,
So that I'd have the time,
To bring the lake up to the land.
When you swum in that sea of orange,
No ocean could be blue enough,
To ever claim the heat.
And as you rush between
the fire and the water,
You find the rhythm's got a beauty.
As those last lashes of light
lick and lap at leaf and limb,
There lingers longing for this life
where Oh, The flames are rising,
And oh, the sky is swallowed.
you've grabbed what you could find,
So that you'll have the time,
To bring the lake up to the land.
You went down through the forest,
When I wasn't where you said we should meet,
To the place you knew I'd knew you'd been.
You saw smoke, and you ran,
But all you found in the clearing,
Was the lake up on the land.
And though I'm gone from you
I've found a new love in the flame,
You call my name I'll fight again
Cause when, The flames are rising,
And when the sky is swallowed.
You just cry "Hester!"
and I'll be there right on time,
To bring the lake up on the land.
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8. |
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I'm a glutton for pain, which is why I feed it to those that I love.
And I haven't shaved in three weeks and it feels like a rodent fucking died on my face.
And it's taking me back,
To the place I was when I wrote most of these songs,
In a cage match with myself.
Depressed, alone, sober and lazy (most of this has not changed).
And I'm not responsible enough to held responsible for holding someone else's heart.
And reminders of that come exploding back as I take that last exit onto 87.
And it's taking me back,
quite literally to the place where I was when I was with you,
In a cage match with myself,
More depressed, less alone, still sober and lazy.
I'm afraid I'm a sociopath but it's the fear that tells me I'm not.
Cause it's my worse days that give me any hope that things could get better
Cause if I can feel this much like ass,
Then it makes me think I'm capable of feelin this much joy,
And I won't be stuck in a cage match with myself.
Depressed, alone, sober, and lazy.
Till then
I will burn,
And self destruct some more.
And I'll sit in my house playing video games,
Wishin I could get myself to work
(As many times as you want till)
And I'll light all my candles, so my heart will burn to the ground
Down down just like randy's house.
(Alternately just sing all of randy's house after this. It's a great song.)
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9. |
Ripoff Nation
04:30
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I miss my friends but I won't talk to them,
'Cause I always forget, or the rift (bridge? I say it wrong p much every time) has grown too wide to gap.
But this year,
I'll be the one to reach out.
This year I will be a better man
But until then I'll ripoff Days n' Daze
I'm pleased and privileged to have had time to spend with
my wonderful family and friends,
So here's a toast to all of you and to all that you do,
You're fucking awesome, don't you ever forget!
When the fire dies down,
What the fuck will you do?
When the man comes around,
What the fuck will you do?
When you're flying your white flag,
Who never gave up on you?
I've too many names carved on my heart,
And I tried to scratch em out, but it only etched em deeper
And I thought they I left them at the cliff I jumped off,
But their ghosts came along for the ride.
But this year,
I'll buff that shit off with windex,
And this year I will be a better man,
But until then I'll rip off k flay.
If you wanna be my baby,
Better get ready for some bullshit,
Cause I'm like fvcking crazy
Fvcking crazy.
x2
I've a mighty fear, Of death from above by therapist
And la la la la la la blah blah blah blah,
That last bit was gonna be an excuse.
But this year,
I'll punch my depression straight in the throat,
And this year I will be a better man,
But until then I'll rip off Pharrell Williams
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
(Because I'm happy)
Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do
(Because I'm happy)
(I have no idea)
I care more about Pokemon,
Than politics or the environment,
And it's hard for me to admit,
But I'm not an anarchist (they have some neat ideas though)
But this year,
I'll learn enough to have an opinion,
And this year I will be a better man,
But until then I'll rip off Blackbird Raum
They're shooting the wolves from helicopters, can you believe it?
Out in the wide world, the wildest ones are vanishing quickly.
But it won't be the witches that are burning this time.
But it won't be the witches that are burning this time!
But it won't be the witches that are burning this time!
But it won't be the witches that are burning this time!
But it won't be the witches that are burning this time!!!
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10. |
Complaining
02:28
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So all my friends will tell me that I'm happy,
or I'm full of life,
Or just a little weird,
And all my bestest friends will say,
Is Joseph fucking Christ dude,
All you ever do's complain,
And I'm pretty sure the day that you stop whining,
Will be the day that you stop talkin altogether.
And they're probably right.
But it's so much easier
when there's something you don't like,
To just get really really really a lot of mad about it,
Then work towards a future where the problem has been solved,
Specially when you don't know what
you want that to look like
At all
So I've found I find myself finding solace in the little things,
Cause the big stuff in my life fucking depresses me,
So it's puppy dogs and sugar frogs and happy times and Ghost Mice,
Climbin trees, adventurin, and lots and lots of fire.
And goin up a mountain with a backpack full of juice boxes,
And makin funny noises, on a gameboy or kazzoo.
Or gallions made of ice cream, and 10 pound bags of candy,
And oh my god she's gone from me, and mixed flavors of slushies,
Oh boy.
It's Yukon Ho!
So all my friends will tell me that I'm happy,
an I'm full of life,
an just a little magical,
And all my bestest friends will say,
Is Oden's fuckin beard dude,
All you ever do's complain,
And I'm pretty sure the day that you stop whining,
Will be the day that you stop talkin altogether.
And they're probably right.
Oh, they're right,
And I've got no defense on my side,
But hey guys, I'm just trying to find someone that I can share my life with,
And right now, my life, well It kinda fuckin sucks.
But hey guys, I'm just trying to find someone that I can share my life with,
And right now I don't know what I want that life to look like
I'll give you a buck if you can find it.
Yeah, I'll give you this whole shiny dollar.
Cause I can't seem to find it on my own.
And I really really, really really, really really really realy really really
wish I could.
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11. |
More Complaining
00:52
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When I see a spider on my ceiling.
Well I know I will swallow it in my sleep.
And it will crawl, deep into my lungs,
And that will be the end of both of us.
Well,
you're a spider in my lungs
both metaphorically and literally
and like or as a simile,
That might seem contradictory,
But you and I couldn't quite agree,
On anything anyway,
So at the end of the day,
What does it give a fuck?
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12. |
Still More Complaining
02:03
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I feel like I'm an ancient tree with my limbs all carved up with memories,
The knife blade biting down so deep,
To leave initials and dour letter words
Like love, and fuck
Each with the same significance,
I need to go throw-up.
And I don't know if it's because
I've been thinking too much about you,
Or all I've eaten these last three days, is the air
I hope it's the one I can change,
Cause I've learned that I have got no say
On what's on my mind anymore
It's each one of you that holds the knife
That carves out all those pretty lines
On my treeflesh,
And my manflesh too,
Oh what will I do?
Probably just what I have done before now,
Which means my problems are all trivial.
I won't die or anything.
I guess I can't complain.
I'll get right on that.
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13. |
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I think I, Yes I think I can remember,
What it is to be happy,
And content with things as they are.
And I think I, yeah I think I can recall,
what it is to be so sad,
That I wanted the soil to take me back in its arms.
But when I'm havin sex, none of that shit matter,
Cause my whole consciousness is finally distracted,
And I'm caught up in the moment,
Like I'm caught up inside of you.
And what else could I ever really need?
I don't drink, and I do not do drugs,
But not for any reason any of you would respect,
I'm just fucking terrified.
I'm afraid I'll find myself a slave to something new,
I'm afraid it'll solve all my problems,
When I couldn't on my own.
But when I'm screamin my lungs out, none of that shit matters,
Cause my whole mind, it is finally distracted,
And I'm caught up in the feelin,
Like my vocal chords are catchin,
And what else could I ever really want?
These days it just feels like I'm on anti-depressants,
Stuck in a middle ground with no highs or lows of which I could speak
(So to speak)
Until I get some adrenaline,
Kickin around in my system
Then my whole body knows it could die at any minute,
And by induction I'm alive
So when I'm in the pit, none of that shit matters,
And my whole body's crushed, but it's finally aware.
And I'm caught up in the wave,
Like I'm caught between all of you,
And what else could any of us ever really want
Have?
Need?
I don't fuckin...
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The Tony Hawk Soundtrack Cambridge, Massachusetts
We sing about depression and self improvement. Grab a kazoo, we brought bubbles.
We will play the heck out of your basement/living room, hook some homies up!
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